Demi and Ashton: doomed from the start?

I hate to say it, but I told you so.  No really I did.  When Demi Moore first started dating Ashton Kutcher back in 2003 I had a sneaky suspicion that it wouldn’t last beyond Demi’s 50th birthday.  Why?  Well think about it, she’s 16 years his senior.  When she turns 50 he’ll still be in his 30s.  Tell me how many 30 year old men you know that have 50 year old girlfriends…particularly one who is as hot and (now) successful as Ashton Kutcher.

When Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher first starting dating he was 25 and she was a young fit looking 41.  She was successful and accomplished in her career – he was just starting out.  While some may accuse Ashton of “using” Demi Moore to underpin his career – it’s quite possible he truly loved her. 

Think about it.  Demi’s decade was the 1990’s.   In 1994 when Ashton was 16, Demi was starring in Disclosure (a few hot steamy scenes with Michael Douglas).  Two years later she starred in Striptease with a spray tan and super buff body – she was 34. 

Now if you asked me do 18 year old boys fantasize about 34 year old women? My answer would be ABSOLUTELY.  So if you are questioning whether Ashton ever really loved Demi – my answer would be he not only loved, he lusted (and possibly had been lusting for a long time before they got together). 

The question is how long does love (and lust) last when you have that kind of age gap?  Some may argue that Demi and Ashton are a good benchmark (8 years) and while I have no doubt that there are some highly successful cougar relationships still going strong, the research into relationship longevity suggests that the younger man/older woman pairing is not optimal.

Back in 2009,  Dr Emmanuel Fragniere of University of Bath along with a number of other researchers studied interviews of more than 1,500 couples who were married or in a serious relationship. Five years later, they followed up 1,000 of the couples, to see which had lasted. 

What they found was interesting.  First of all they found the optimal age difference between husband and wife was five years – with “him” (rather than her) being the older partner.  The risk of divorce in these kinds of couples was further reduced when she was more intelligent than he (let’s face it ladies when are we not?) and when neither partner had been divorced.  Finally the study found that common cultural backgrounds was also a good gauge for marital success. 

Now for all you cougars (and would be cougars) imagining years of marital bliss till death do you part – don’t just look at Demi and Ashton as a guide. The research found that if the wife is five or more years older than her husband, they are more than three times as likely to divorce than if they were the same age. 

So while Demi Moore may have been the poster girl for cougars for the past 8 years – sadly there is a “use-by date” even for the hottest old gals.  Sorry Demi, it’s time to hand the baton on.


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